Beautiful people--Beautiful world. The end.

It was only two months. It felt like a week. How did I connect with so many people in such a short time? Los Adultos Mayores surprised me with a despidida. They closed the door to me and said I had to wait. Wait for what? I thought. Irene opens the door and greeting me is 50 applauding elders, blasting music, and a tear filled Irene. I can't even enter the room, before I know it I am bombarded with kisses, hugs, and advice. A line forms, and everyone of the 40 elderly hugged me, kissed me, some cried, others insisted on my return, and others prayed with me. You ever look back and contemplate? I thought back about my visits with the elders, our outings, dancing, and reunions. I was just helping, doing odd end jobs, showing love wherever possible. I didn't realize how much it impacted or even how closely others watched this "gringo." Many speeches were given as well, everyone had a word or two to say. The leader of the adultos mayores demanded attention and silence as he gave his summary of my stay and respect for the help I gave. Such a good speaker. "Llena de carina y una energia contagiosa." Full of loving-care and with a contagious energy.--humbling.

I thought this was it, but nope--they all had another plan. Food and tea was served and Irene presented a gift. These people have NOTHING, but they managed to all chip in and buy me the most beautiful jacket. It fits perfect! They said, they wanted me to be able to bring a bit of Bolivia back with me. They also sang for me in Aymara, I love that language. Thank you adultos mayors. You've taught me patience and wisdom. You've opened up my eyes to a different manner of living. And--you've made me laugh with you wonderful stubbornness and humor.

Wednesday was my last day. I worked in the morning and decided to keep open the evening to pack. Ha, that didn't happen. Another despidid, now from the area de salud. Saltenas and again each member of the team, along with the liscencia had kind words, prayers, and advice for me. Thank you area de salud. Working along side doctors I was able to perfect my assessing skills,

not to mention some diagnosing. I was able to be exposed to many illnesses and situations that aren't common in the states. Thank you guys for your patience, kindness, and desire to teach me.

What to do on my last night? Pack? Nope--that can wait. I went out with the doctors and nurses. We shared, ate drank, laughed, and cried, I connected with them and gained true friendships. They all bought individual gifts for me; medical journals, beautiful shawls, key chains, and other thoughtful gifts. I don't like goodbyes. But by the end of my last day I became accustomed to the hugs, tears, kisses, and exchange of contacts.

I'm looking out my airplane window, Below are soft clouds, crystal blue waters, and an occasional blotch of land. I cam to Bolivia to serve. I left Bolivia changed. The people here taught me, helped me grow, strengthened my faith, and instilled in me a desire to serve, help, and travel. On July 7th I arrived with bags packed to capacity, nerves on end unsure what to expect, head dizzy and lungs struggling with the altitude. One September 2nd I'm leaving--not wanting to leave. Trying to think if there's a solution to these mixed feelings. My lungs are strong, my head is heavy with thoughts and memories, my confidence is present, my bags are empty. I couldn't help but leave everything...I came to serve anyway, right? With bags empty, I left with something more precious than material clothes or a pricey computer. I left with my experience, with the knowledge that I am loved appreciated, and missed. I left a stronger and changed Jessica.

Janet and Anitawa thank you for this opportunity. I pray that you continue to help and serve those in need. Friends from home, thank you for supporting and encouraging me these two months. Thanks for reading this...now I am not babbling away to no one. Friends from Bolivia, thanks for welcoming me and allowing me to be part of your lives. Bolivia thank you for teaching me and transforming me into who I am now.

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Uyuni

Destination of my last weekend in Bolivia. Mainly I lived in a surreal world for four days. Anitawa and I played tourists as we hopped on a bus bound for Uyuni. Thirteen hours later we arrived with ice coated windows just as the sun crept over the mountains to enhance this glistening sign of coldness. Its 6:30 AM and we begin to wander the streets, killing time until the market opens up to relieve our frozen hands with some steaming api.

What's important when you travel? Money? Documents? Well...and a camera. But we forgot the first two. Lets say Anitawa was nonexistent on paper and I was empty pocketed. After five hours of searching we found the town's only ATM--it was empty. I think the Lord likes suspense. As we see a line forming around this ATM I realized they just filled it, so in the end I was able to secure my three day tour. (You see it was yet another holiday and the banks weren't open--hence the exhaustion of this lonely ATM in the town of Uyuni).
We pile into a four wheel drive with two dutch, a New Zealander, an Australian, and our lovely chauffeur. On our roof is our gas for our trek and enough food for three days. It was amazing. Never in my life did I imagine I would see so many wonders in the same trip. Train graveyards, endless salt plains, hotels of pure salt, flamingos, mountains, lakes, volcanoes, geysers, hot springs, llamas and avicunas, and desolate-desolate lands stretching out past my vision. The salt plains were deceiving. The white reflected back the sun and burned your skin. You think its like snow but then you breath in an immense flavor of salt fills your mouth as it slowly dehydrates you. Amongst these plains were a few islands of cacti. They say that it used to be a huge lake and all that is left now is its savory contents...acres and acres of salt. Now I can say that I've sat on the bottom of a lake. Check that off my bucket list.

Who would of thought that in the middle of these desolate empty stretches would you find lakes. Lakes partly frozen over, back-dropped by snow capped mountains and smoking volcanoes. In these borax, sulfur filled lakes were hundreds and hundreds of flamingos. Their bright pink feathers reflecting on the green, blue, red water (surreal like I said, no lake was only one color).

We stopped in one area where Armageddon was filmed--it looked like the moon (since I have been there and all). As we climbed these contemporary shaped rocks in the distance, majestically threatened a smoking volcano. Last time it erupted was 2003. "Thanks volcano for not erupting while I was there"

What's a geyser? A spring characterized by intermittent discharge of water ejected turbulently and accompanied by steam. A good way to hard boil some eggs...some tours took their breakfast to cook over steam. There were over 25 of these individual geyser, all different sizes, all releasing steam, and all smelling like sulfur. It was like a dream. Sulfur steam surrounding me as I wander through the uneven, soft ground between the multitudes of boiling earth releasing its pressure. Beautiful.

So after four days of traveling in the desert, you begin to yearn a nice hot shower. And of course hot water in these frigid area is rare. Man were those hot springs welcoming. Cleansing to the skin and soothing to the body as it defrosts my tired-cold feet. Downside--ice hair when I was done.

Llamas are proud animals. The way they strut with their head held high. I ate llama on this trip. Its like tough-gray chicken. Avicunas is like the bolivian deer. Just skinnier and living in the desert.

The trip was a great way to celebrate the end of my two months. Not to mention, I think Anitwaw needed that vacation...she works hard. It was fun to escape together for four days...away from responsibility and all sense of time.

And the countdown begins...so little time left. One last blog entry and then an end to my adventures.

John 11:35 "Jesus wept"...

...and so did I. SSShhh, don´t tell my brother (he thinks I´m bad ass). But yes, I think it all got to me or it was a lovely combination of the poverty, deaths, pain, sickness and sadness that I saw. I am patting my friends back, trying to get him to breath. He has gradually escalated into a state of shock, hysteria. He is struggling as tells me about his life--his hard hard life--how he held his little sister in his arms and watch her take her last breath as she slipped in to the hands of death, how at such a young age is living on his own, how he was recently beaten up and robbed...life is just too much to bare for some...but as he relays these terrors to me through heaving, panicked breaths and tears flowings down his cheeks, it literally took all the power in me to avoid allowing my own tear filled eyes to release the waters that I held back. Why is life so unjust to some? We ended up having to take him to the hospital as his shock worsened, on the way he was revived twice. Thanks to God he is now stabilized and recovering at home. Please keep him in your prayers. There is much more going on in his life than this one instance of hysteria.

"Yesi por favor, ven a 27 de Mayo (una clinca) necesitamos tu ayuda...¡da prisa!" "Come quickly

Jessica to our other clinic, we need your help." says Dr. Omar. It turns out that the center was crowded with patients, the dentist hadn´t arrived yet, and a young 13 year old girl was un-

stabled with dilated pupils, unresponsive, and continued to pass out. Of course I went, as quickly as possible...getting transportation isn´t always the easiest seeing that you had to flag down speeding mini-buses (that is if it wasn´t full either). I began attending patients, while the doctor and other nurse cared for the 13 year old who had apparently taken pills from a classmate that she couldn´t remember the name and didn´t know what they were.

26 de Agosto

Today is the day where we remember the elders and thank them for everything they do for us and remind them how special and important they are in our community. I get to dance with them in the center of town and celebrate their life. They are quite impacting, full of character. One threatened to punch me since I hadn´t saved her any bread, joking I think or at least hope, ha (remember that lovely picture of me selling bread out of a huge basket as I scream tempting offers to draw in people? get to do that every tuesday) At the same time another is teasing me about how I yell, compra pan....pan caliente! And yet another behind me is trying to teach me aymara--maya, paya, quimsa, pusi, phiska...1,2,3,4,5...and that is about all I learned with the numerous distractions.

So I´m going to surprises the hermanas, Anitawa and Janet. Yeah I know they aren´t that old, but they are older than me. So Irene, Wilma and I are cooking up an American style breakfast to start their day off right and respect them also on this day of celebration! Hope I wake up before them...

Los Revisiones

Who ever thought the idea of holding a thermometer in your mouth would be so difficult? Half of the kids want to bite it and the other half think I´m trying to give them a shot. Maybe the fear

comes from the threatening parents who say I´ll give them a shot if they don´t listen. The idea of a doctor visit is not common for these kids. You know in the states, the doc comes into the room and the kid is ready with his mouth open for the thermometer. Here they are terrified of the white coat doctors, that apparently will come to their house and give them shots if they disobey. I really wish the parents would use a different form of threatening their kids. Also, herbs and religion are more common among the aymara to cure sickness....not modern medicine. What is a pill going to do anyway?

Titicaca

Highest and deepest lake. Thought to be a volcano at one time, or maybe still is. A hidden city lies below along with a sea monster to protect it. A lot of superstition here...but it was enough for me to not want to jump in to test the suspicions, not to mention is was freezing! I love how bolivians view time. We were supposed to leave for the lake at 6:30 AM...we left at 10:30. But it was such a great trip. It was meant to be a day trip, but with

the warmth and beautiful view of the lake, plans were changed and we stayed at a friends place and got up at 4AM the next morning to make it

to work in time.

Tiquina is a quaint little town. Donkeys, sheep, pigs and all. We walked along the lakes shore, shared some Bolivian beer, played soccer, and drank tea. It was so relaxing we decided to stay and build a campfire, relax more, and tell ghost stories. We may have slept only about 3 hours that night...and yes we arrived very late for work the next morning. It was a combination of the multiple modes of transportation: 4 AM taxi, 5:30 AM boat, 6 AM bus, 8 AM mini-bus, 8:30 AM another mini-bus, 9 AM walking to finally arriving to my destination-showering, changing and then rushing off to go be a nurse. It was worth the lack of sleep, I was able to get to know the people I work with better and meet another family. Who were so kind and absolutely thrilled that I was a Christian. They gave me gifts to remember them and asked me to come back if I

was ever close by, so hospitable. And like all Bolivians, showed their hospitality by stuffing every space in my body with as much food as they could offer!

Only one more weekend left to travel! Hmm...where should I go?

Untouchable

I´m walking down the steep hills and cobble stone streets to the market on my way to the market in Villa Fatima (all excited because I am going to make a pumpkin pie from a whole pumpkin and give some friends here a taste of one of my favorite Thanksgiving delicacies). The crisp fresh air whips across my nose changing it to a rosy-gringo red. I am content and happy, pondering about my day, the visits I did, the people I saw at the clinic, and the time that I have spent here so far. Then I look up the hill from where I have come and on a roof top of one of the brick homes above me I see

a young boy. He is as content as can be and spreads his arms open wide and screams, “I´m on top of the world…no one can touch me here!” You ever have that feeling? Where you think you are untouchable and unstoppable? I have, I mean I think I am now sometimes. That´s when you get a little knock on the door and God will wake you up. I enjoyed the young boy´s innocent euphoria as he sits high above everyone, peering down in his safely elevated nook. But it got me thinking. Yeah it´s great to be comfortable and safe…but when we are comfortable and safe like that do we really feel like we need God? Here, more than any other country, I have been put in my place and humbled to know that I need God. He is here amongst the pain and suffering, he is here among the poor, He is here to show is power even in the smallest miracles. In example, providing bread for a family of 9 for a day, I didn´t want to visit them empty handed and luckily stumbled upon some freshly baked bread on my way there. I like when He uses me…it makes me feel important!

I found a way to connect with the adultos mayores! Who doesn´t like to cook? We had a teacher come and teach us some recipes…ones that will definitely be repeated in the states! Empanadas anyone? Or maybe some tempting pasteles por api? Cooking with five elderly, stubborn women is quite hilarious. They all have their way of doing things…and something called a recipe is almost a foreign language to them. But in the end, with the combined forces of us all (along with the guidance of a very patient, government paid cook) did we result in amazing postres! I have to say, I am proud of us all. They were so funny as they chatted away and formed the most perfect empanadas (why can´t my fingers work so smoothly as theirs?). They insist that I learn aymara and that I change my visa to a year rather than my departure date of sept 2^nd…aaahhh so soon!

This week consisted of many home visits. I enjoy going to visit them…you know bring the help to them rather than wait for them to come to us. Only, it´s hard to see how they live and the pain that some of them are in. We hiked up some steep roads and gasped up intense stairs to many homes. How does this elder with a bad foot do it? I am continually impressed with the toughness and stamina of the people here. Now, if I go to complain about something, I think twice. One woman had fallen down her steps and resulted in sprains, broken rib, black swollen eye which can´t be opened, and a hematoma covering half of her head. This case alone encourage Omar and I to begin brain storming. Why is there no emergency health care here? Would it be really hard to start one? What would we need to have a “911” service for the people of the periferica? Would we give a home number to call or should we have a clinic too? These are all just heavy questions that begin a project. I hope that Omar can continue with his dream. Maybe I could come back and ensure that it gets done…gota be a doctor first.

As my flight gets closer and closer, the doctors are planning my nights and weekends. All my free time is now devoted to do the things on “my list of things to do while in Bolivia.” Interestingly enough, among that list is to eat a cow heart with this savory peanut sauce--anticucho. No worries, I´ll get to check that off tomorrow as I cook it with the dentista Rita. I´ll let you know how it goes…I hear its healthy. I also go to the lake Titicaca (Rachel you can stop laughing now) tomorrow. It is one of the largest lakes here and is the highest lake in the world.

Today after work I got drug along with Dra. Paula, Dr. Omar, and Dr. Rita to go to a calvario. Nope…had no idea what it was. But Bolivians are full of tradition and also a little suspicion, so I knew it would be interesting as we went higher and higher. Rita had taken a stone from the river a year ago. Now as she took it she wished for a good year, fortune, health and all that good stuff. A year has passed and today was the day to return the stone to its home. That means we were carrying a 20 pound stone with us…and beer (what´s a ceremony without beer?). We had an indigenous—somewhat religious—man pray over the rock and say a lot of

other stuff in aymara. I am sure it was blessings and what not. He also added incense and poured beer on the fire…and on us. He filled our hands with the foam of the beer and you had to put it in your pocket since it represented money and wealth. It was an interesting experience. After it all Rita was blessed because she brought back her stone and we all shared a beer. And the elderly man who blessed us with his chants, incense, and fire then asked me to take him with me to the states (as he winks he said his partner wouldn´t mind). Makes me wonder if this is all a gimmick or Rita truly will have a year full of fortune, wealth and health. I´ll pray for the second.

Our refuge

Anitawa and I had a free weekend, oh what to do? Well we had this wonderful idea to go to this get-a-way spot with natural hotspring and all. But, apparently that was everyone else´s plan, no space left! So, we flip through the tour book in Bolivia and decided on Sorata. It is a quaint little pueblo known for its narrow cobblestone streets and being tucked away safely in the valley of towering snow capped mountains. We explored the whole town in five minutes! Then we went for hikes through the hills and dipped our feet in the ice-cold rivers. The pace of life there is so relaxed. Almost everyone there speaks Aymara. Its always humbling being in a situation where you are completely lost and have no idea whats going on. Lets just say...I get humbled a lot. But I loved this easy going little, hidden town. I got my first shiatsu, a massage using pressure points. So tranquil.

My week

The children are precious. I should have come here as a teacher rather than a nurse. But either way I get to work with them. The children here are so well behaved. Its amazing how they can entertain themselves bare-foot, with a stick or an empty bottle. Best yet, was a brother and sister straddling on a skateboard and flying down a bumpy, rocky decline-cliff which (between you and me) was difficult to even just walk down. The children are just trusted and left on their own. But this week and next the área de salud is doing general medical check ups on all the

children, there are roughly 200. A lot. Typhoid has hit a few of us, unfortunately during all these physicals we are short-staffed. I even had to give a shot to one of the nurses here, see typhoid hits others worse. Luckily, I was not hit too hard with it and am healing quickly!Busted lips, smashed fingers, heads full of lice, cancerous elderly, inflamed arthritis, malnourished, gastritis, reflux, pregnant women, sexual transmitted diseases, and twisted joints. We see it all and we do pretty much anything here to. Within this week, we will be doing a surgery too. The doctor is eager for me to learn and is willing to let me gain experience. I am becoming more and more sure about my desire to go further in the field of medicine. A doctor maybe? A professor? Maybe I should be a nurse first in the states. I just get excited about the possibilities...

Los Yungas

So it gets cold here...I might have mentioned that already, or a couple times. But the Yungas is only a 7 hour bus ride a way with a tropical climate. There are palm trees, plantains, screeching birds, waterfalls, rivers, and fields to play soccer barefoot! Irene, her daughter, and I went for a weekend to stay with her brother who lives in Caranavi. I didn´t want to come back! We went swimming, hiking, played soccer, camping, and cooked and cooked and cooked. I think it is one of the best ways to get to know someone. Cook with them, chat with them, and share. It was indeed a paradise. The road to get there...not so much. It is also known as Death Road (for a reason). But I had some prayers floating my way and God on my side, we arrived and returned safely. Another downside to this little haven of warmth was--mosquitoes. Never in my life have I literally had to run from swarms. In the end, I´m going to say the fresh chocolate from the coco plantations, the warm air at night, the waking up to coconut milk straight from the tree that morning, getting to know Irene and her family, frying plantains (possibly too many), playing soccer, and meeting friends was way worth the risky road and hungry mosquitoes.

Matthew 5:14

"You are the light of the word. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a stand, and let it give light to everyone. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

let your light shine...

It was bound to happen....

I´ve been hit with the Typhoid. Typhoid fever. Its either those delicious, addicting salteñas from the street, or God saying...."slow down Jess, why don´t you spend a day in bed?" Either way it isn´t fun. But, luckily I work with a doctor who drug me to a lab to get my blood tested. Who ever said positive was a good thing. When that typhoid analysis came back positive all I could think of was, no no no, I don´t have time to be sick! Well...it´ll pass with time (and some antibiotics!)

maybe it was the water?....

Starfish

Entrada

Yet another entrada. This time I brought my camera. There were 71 different types of dancesthat participated, all folklore and colorful . The music was great and the energy was almost palpable. Of course I got in their and danced with the people in the parade, especially those afro-bolivianos, man do they have rhythm. Area del salud took the task of bringing me to the entrada. They even provided lechon, yum pig...and lots of it!





La Combre




This is the highest I´ve been. Anitawa piled as many as could fit in the jeep and off we went for an adventure. The month of august is the month of sacrifices...yup animal sacrifices. To thank mother earth for all she has offered and also to ensure health for the year. The drive up was, how would one put it, life threatening? We were literally in the clouds-meaning we couldn´t see very much. I would definitely say it was worth the drive and the risk. When we got there, I felt like I was walking in a dream. My childhood fantasy to walk among the clouds came true, and where of all places--but the mountains of Bolivia. The whole experience was so surreal. The only downside is we were drenched after only 10 minutes of walking around because of all the humidity in the clouds.

Los Mayores

The elderly have so much to teach us, so much experience, so much life. Yet it is lost as they feel forgotten and useless as their hearing disappears and their sight worsens. What can they still have to offer? Oh, so much! August is the official elderly acknowledgment month. Don´t you just love that? An entire month to say....hey thanks guys for the life you lived and for all that you have done. I went with a group of them to the inauguration of this month. Of course we danced, what else do 75 year old Bolivians want to do? They taught me all different types, some with success, others--well lets just say my partner was patient! The elderly make bread here. One to give them a task and two a way to profit for their association of Adultos Mayores. Guess who got to sit there with a basket full of fresh hot bread selling all that she could. Yup--me! I am there shouting, "fresh bread! get it now!!! oh its good....our own abuelitos made it!" Yeah no big deal...I sold all of it. Ha. Maybe they felt bad for this foreigner chick, or maybe I found my new calling?
Casa Luz
This week I was assigned a task. Yay, I am useful! I was told to assess the health of the children at Casa Luz y Esperanza, weights, heights, BMI...all that good stuff. Then sum it up and tell them who was at risk. I was excited to get to meet these children. They are all struggling with some kind of handicap, autism, ADHD, downs, or another disability. They are so precious, innocent, and in their own little world. Trust is not given easily. Their world is so fragile. It intrigues me how each child has a unique way of communicating, of relaxing, of expressing oneself. I have a favorite...yeah yeah...favorites aren´t nice. But if you saw this child, you would adore him too. He is four years old and goes by Brandon (pronounced with a sweet spanish accent). He has a speech impediment, but is quickly improving. He just looks at me with those bright eyes, smiles with those dimples of his, and I melt. I admire those that work at Casa Luz, patience is a must in this field of work. Thank you for all those that have the unending patience and love that is required to work with the mentally handicapped.


Mallasa
A beautiful national park. I accompanied the children from the sunday-school program on a little retreat. These kids are in their teens. I loved getting to know them more, hear them gossip, discuss their favorite type of music, giggle about boys, and lay upon me endless questions about the united states. We baked in the sun, ate a feast, failed at our multiple attempts at volleyball, rode horses among our beautiful moutainous backdrop, sped around on four-wheels through Valley de Luna (named because of its rock formations that remind me of those drip sand-castles that you make at the beach), and mainly just enjoyed the day. I felt like I connected with some of the girls. One, opened up to me and confided in me some family issues. It let me see how intricate everyones life really is. You may appear happy, confident, and content on the outside while literally you are terrified to walk in to you own home. Say a prayer for this young one please.


Culture
So here I thought I was well traveled and knowledgeable to most cultures. The other day I went to dinner to one of my friends house. Why? Well, I asked if I could meet his family and see how he lives. I like to experience things and really put my feet in another person´s shoes. Maybe I shouldn´t have. One culture that I do not know very well is that of the indigenous that speak aymara. I was fed a typical plate of the alto-plano. It was delicious and filling...I only wish they didn´t feed me so much! No worries, I finished it all, slowly but surely. The family I visited was not accustomed to guests. I ate in the same room the family of 8 slept. I tried to make small talk, but either I was intimidating or they were unsure of how to act with this american girl in their one room home. Either way my uneasiness grew as we sat in silence, with my mind racing. What should I say? Should I eat faster since I am the only one left with food still in her bowl? Why are they so quiet? Why won´t they look me in the eye when they talk to me? How do 8 people sleep in the same room, all arriving and leaving at different times? Am I offending them being here? Why did my friend just excuse my spanish for me!? Oh, like I said before...maybe second impressions are more important in Bolivia. The family was shy, but definitely kind. I just wish they would stop apologizing for their living conditions. How can they afford to give me a bag of the best looking potatoes as a gift? Oh the situations I get myself into. ´


My Analogy
A little sun bleached girl is racing along the beach. There are thousands of star fish washed up on the shore, left to dry out and die. She is breathlessly picking up the few that she can and tossing them back into the sea. An old man is watching from the distance. Fed up with this young girls infant thought that she can save all of them, he approaches her. "You know, little one, you will never get to all these starfish in time to save them?" She stops her frantic attempt to save the dying lives long enough to answer,"Yes, but they few that I do get to are still alive."


I thought about my situation here and the work that Anitawa and Janet are doing with the three clinics. There are so many different lives, situations, poverty in the world that we will never solve all the problems. But the few lives that we do manage to impact, are changed for life. I need to remember this when I get frustrated at my inability to solve everything. I am only one small vessel in God´s grand plan. Patience is a must, humbleness is a necessity.

this is La Paz at night' bonita no?

I look around....yes this is poverty. These homes, these people, this pain. It hurts me and embarrasses me that I have come here to help and can´t solve all their problems. But hey, if I had that power then we can´t sit back and watch God use us. I visited a woman yesterday who managed to get around crawling on her hands and knees. See her diet is horrible, potatoes and well, potatoes. Her bones have suffered from the loss of calcium and has led to complications of osteoporosis mixed with arthritis. On top of this debilidad she has a mental handicap that has come with age. In her dirt floored, mud walled, dangerously tittering on a side of a cliff home she birthed her 13 children. Only two have stayed to take care of her, one pregnant without a husband the other only 9 years old. How do they manage? They can´t afford milk. She needs tests to prove to the government that she indeed has a handicap and qualifies for the help they offer. But the family can´t pay. Well we aren´t here for our entertainment-- to just listen to her story, nod, smile, give her a hug. Irene (a very kind hearted, sympathetic woman I work with) has arranged for us to raise the money through raffling off goody boxes of necessities. I pray that we reach the amount needed. If we help at least one family, I feel like our visits to the poorer areas aren´t a waste.

There are alot of broken families here. Barely any have both parents, for one reason or another. I visited one family who had 6 children, three of them were her own, the other were her sister´s who recently passed away from cancer. She took them as her own and has shown no favoritism. They are happy, well behaved, dirty, runny nosed children. One of the four year old boys cracked me up today. We were looking at where Salud Integral was helping build a larger house (larger than the one room living condition they have). This little one, named Diego, was climbing up one of the dirt walls. I said ''Cuidado''. He looks at me with his rosy cheeks and gorro almost over his smiling eyes , and says--''soy macho!'' and continues on. This is a boy who runs down ladders, sleeps on the same mattress as his 5 other siblings, just lost his mom to cancer, and has no dad. They raise them tough here. I let him prove his macho-ness, then swooped him up, hugged him and kissed him.

I am not telling these stories to depress you. I am revealing a little of what I see everyday. A little bit of how a large portion of the world lives. We are blessed. If you leave this site with anything, I pray that it is either the gratitude of what you are blessed with, or the knowledge of how others live. Or both...that would be great too.

Last weekend I went to Tiwanaku, one of the pueblos nearby with old ruins from before Machu Picchu. The sad thing is, its such a poor country they don´t have money to un-earth the to

wn that lay just below our feet. It was beautiful and frustrating at the same time. Beautiful at the history and beliefs they have. One was that they would tie fabric around their head from birth and tighten it, while re'enforcing it with rocks. Why? you may ask. Well two theories. One, to

appear more intelligent with a taller head! And the other, apparently the taller the head the higher the social status. I think I´ll stick with who has a nicer car...

It´s frustrating because there is so much historia lost beneath, just waiting to be told. Just walking along an area, we found bones scattered about, volcanic stones, and handcrafted ceramic pots so delicately painted (no we weren´t allowed there). But it was beautiful and exciting to see.

I´ll end with a question one of the kids asked me. ''¿Por que dios ha hecho personas de diferente colores?'' I was going to go into great detail about the necessity of different skin tones, about depending on where you lived and all that...but instead I asked him why he thought God made people with different skin colors. He said, ''El dios le gustan cosas interesante.'' God does like interesting things. I liked his answer.

And here we go

This is illimani...the highest mountian in Bolivia. Was once an active volcanoe, people fear that it may one day become active again because of the movement of lava below. Who knows. But for now it is a silent beast tipped with snow, towering over La Paz.

"Ven Yesi, ven!" says Rita. Its on of the dentists that I get to shadow (I saw some tooth extractions today...man those kids are tough, with black rotting teeth and all). She´s a bad influence, she´s stealing me away from the clininc to watch an entrada in El Alto. No I didn´t know where El Alto was or any idea what an entrada was...but when in Rome...I mean Bolivia! Turns out it was the largest desfile (parade) I´ve ever seen. And man those outfits were crazy! Rita lives 5 stories high--it over looked the entire Entrada. Never in my life have I seen so many people-all happy, dancing, eating, drinking. It was the celetion of their independence of La Paz. I ate alot and to end the night was in a parade for Salude Integral! (We got there late...but of course on time in Bolivian time). And yes-I forgot my camera...oops.

Javier and I have been doing home visits to the elderly who havn´t been able to make it to the weekly meetings. This I love. One because I like elderly, they have so much to teach me. Two they are precious when they speak aymari, and three it is humbling to see how they live. The higher we go the harder life seems. No roads, ladders leading up to a doowary, no water, no bathroom, no electricity. But they manage to serve me a refresco when I enter their humble aboad, Who decided it a good idea to build homes on such trecherous, steep, inclinces? Some of those that we are visiting are in bad shape. There is nothing I can do for a cancerous woman with hepatitis, unable to move and too poor to pay for any type of surgery of treatment. She is babbling off to me in a mix of aymari and spanish as she explains to me what hurts through her tear filled, yellow glazed eyes--she´s real sick. My heart hurts for people like her, for the weak, for the forgotten, for the poor, for the hurting. Yeah I am here to help--but honestly can I change their circumstance? A warm embrace, a smile, a cup of tea will only provide temporary comfort. They need so much more...

After our visit we were already half up a mountain where no plants grew and no roads guided you. Javi says, why not? So we kept going up. Up, up, up we go until all I hear is the wind blowing the grass and the finches diving into the trecherous cliffs that boarderd our camino. Its amazing at the top. You see this bowl below, filled with cars, buildings, homes, people all running about--each with their own goals and responsibilities. That is La Paz. A silent business that fills this bowl. I am awestruct of the beauty that lies just beyond the mountains...amazing how true the saying is "once you master one mountain--you are confronted with so many more." (could be a saying...or I am just that whitty...regardless you can quote me on it!).

I am learning alot from Dr Omar. For some reason or other--one I am not going to question--he has taken me under his wing. He wants me to learn and experience all that I can. In exchange I help him with his English. It works. Don´t you love the barter system?

Today is Dia del Amistad. It´s great. Its like Valentines day--but better. You don´t have to have a lover--its a day to appreciate those close to you, the ones you trust, and friendship in general. Well in celebration of this day--I love all you guys. I appreciate every friendship I have and am so blessed with such loving, giving, thoughtful and entertaining people in my life. Happy Friendship Day.

Here are the two lovely people I live with. So kind, full of life and hilarious. Anitawa has the green hoody on and Janet is the other. Definitely different than I thought they would be...a good different, they are awesome.

The Three Clinics

I came here with a open mind, an empty wallet, and a heart full of desire to serve, to help, to make a change. I came here with absolutely no clue what to expect. Thank God, that He knows what He's doing in my life...to end up in a freezing country that has over 15 dialects, main one being spanish. But I am here now, and loving it. The nuns are crazy and free spirited, I thought I would change them--but no, they are teaching me.

La Merced:

This is where I live with the nuns. They built this home on their own--it is a home and a clinic in one. They offer a dentist, a medical clinic, lunch program, meeting rooms, and a program for the elderly. I will be working here with the adultos mayores (elderly) hanging out, doing activities, making bread, art, and learning how to stitch. I also will be doing some physical therapy with them...yes I know-- I don't know what I am doing. But the jist is, they need to stretch and get some exercise, I think I can handle that. I am working with Javier, a sweet guy who is a Christian--not Catholic (shhhh don't tell the nuns). I am kidding, they know, and they laugh about it. I love it, it is a yellow house with plenty of space. It rest just above the periferico (the main road the follows the rim of the bowl that La Paz makes). So mainly, I have the best view of La Paz, its lights of the town twinkle up and remind me of stars looking up at me. Well this picture is during the day-but imagine the beauty when it all lights up at night. When I met the adultos mayores it was bout 30 of them in a small room, some on the floor, some making bread, and some knitting away. When I introduced myself I recieved an applause...actually anytime I did anything I got an applause. Quite entertaining. They were recieving glasses that day from the clinic. In reality this gathering is a way to get the elderly out of the house and in a social setting. Its great for them...and I get to hear them chatter away in their indiginous languages as they laugh and wink at me. Man I wish I knew what they were saying!

Vente-siete de Mayo:

This would be clinic number 2, and yes they named it after a date, they name lots of things after dates here. This one is more like a daycare. They have one level that teaches children, from 2-7 years old. When I went into the toddlers room I was greated by 23 runny nosed, dirty face, happy waving children. All with their hands open making a five as they all repeat hola in their sweet little voices. I adore children, they are precious. But apparantly these precious little children carry a dangerious hepatisis A. Hence the day of disinfecting of the entire clinic, which of course turned into 3 days since it was such a job, but it got done. The next floor is a medical clinic and a dentist where I will be switching back and forth working with these two doctors. They both are so willing to teach me and allow me to help. The one doctor even let me take a patient, while he sat back and waited for a diagnosis...it was a cold, ha. Lastly this clinic also offers meals for those that sign up for the program, this is to help with the malnutrition in this area.

Casa Esperanza:

This third clinic is the most interesting, but also requires the most patience. It is a home and a rehabilitation center for children with disabilities, autism, downs syndrome, or other mental handicaps. Each child has he's personal teacher, who guides him and pushes him to higher development. Also, there is a project in the making for a lunch program here as well. This program will socialize the children with disabilities and educated others that come without a disability. It's a beautiful thing they are doing there, I hope that I will be able to help it develope.

Now alittle about me...

I have been given so many opportunites for adventures and have only been here one week! Wow, how time passes. I was able to stay in Cochabamba for a weekend, with an interesting woman. She was an activist for human rights who was kicked out of a couple of countries and visited over 110. She has amazing stories and has lived such a full life. I stayed with her as sister Janet traveled around and visited other nuns. This woman, was very hospitable, opening up her beautiful home to me that resided in the country. I was given the loft, which had walls of glass...so it was like sleeping in a tree house- but inside. Cochabamba is warmer, alot warmer than La Paz! I went for a hike up to their Jesus Cristo...kinda like Brazil's. Only this one is the largest, oh Bolivia, added 3 centimiters to this tower so they could say they had the largest!

It rests on a mountian that overlooks Cochabamba and you can even go up into the arms. It's a beautiful overlook of the entire city. George Ann (whose house I was staying at) hooked me up with some people my age. They took me out on the town and even to an outside rock/reggae concert. Oh I moshed...and I danced! It was a great trip.

Tomorrow we are having a parade because it is a holiday for them here. Anitawa convinced me to participate. I will do the site seeing/touristy thing this weekend with one of the doctors I work with. We have two argentinians staying with us here at La Merced...both vegans...its different to cook with them. But I am learning to be open minded ;-).

It is funny how Bolivians are. They live a life different then I ever have seen. They are set in their ways and are proud of it. They live a hard life and don't complain about it. They have never won a war they entered, but still have this stubborn pride that shines through. A good way to explain it is they filler words "No ve?" They'll say something and then add in "don't you see" and continue on. Maybe it is to ensure you are listening or maybe it is because they want you to see life and view the world like they do. They are happy and non-materialistic. They take a two hour lunch in the middle of the day to relax. And they have so many holidays. Why is it that America has so few? During my two month stay I will experience 4 national holidays. Maybe this is why they seem more relaxed, on their own pace, and enjoy life and its beauty. No ve?

This is from my rooftop where I do yoga in the afternoon and hand-wash my clothes

Now safely in La Paz, 12,000 ft high

Anitawa picked me up from the airport greeting me with a kiss and a steaming hot cup of cocoa tea--yes fresh from a thermis. She said it helps with the altitude. She also brought along a family who´s youngest shyly handed me a rose. Now Anitawa was not your typical nun...she was a monja chula. She proceeded to fly down the curviest roads in a bulky white jeep named Verita. My home is beautiful and hudge! There was a basket of daisies waiting for me on my bed--I love daisies!!! I have electricity but no heat. My own bathroom too!

6:30 Am I wake up with alittle difficulty breathing due to the thin air that so easily dries me out. But I am completely distracted as I look out my window to the most breathtaking sunrise that I have ever seen! I am surrounded by the highest, sharpest, most intriguing mountains that are backdropped by an artistic display of pink, orange, and purple tones.

Janet and Anitawa made me rest this first day--meaning no work. But I did get to explore downtown. Their bus system is one thing on my list to figure out--soon hopefully. They are crazy minivans with the sliding door open and a young kid yelling out where it is headed as it barrels towards you. Oh and those cross walks! Well Bolivia had a problem with the cars not stopping...so they thought it smart to dress up someone like a zebra and dance back and forth with a sign reading PARE, stop. HILARIOUS. But hey whatever works.

I visited my first clinic today...there are three that Anitawa started. They slapped on a white lab coat and called me the nurse...and sometimes medica. What did I get myself into? I was brought into a room full of health employees, teachers, doctors, and other employees of Salud Integral and introduced by Anitawa as the volunteer Amercan nurse. Then left in my own defense to "say a few words of my own". Oh man was I caught at a blank. But I think I fumbled through a short, slightly embarrassed introduction. Maybe in Bolivia second impressions mean more?

I already love Janet and Anitawa. Two amazing people, very loving, motherly, and hilarious. We plan to travel to Cochibamba this weekend to see more of Bolivia, as they say para aprovechar mi tiempo.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I struggle to adjust and feel confident...and hopefully with that the comfort of peace and knowledge...mainly not feeling lost! Lastly--what about those Spaniards??? Felicidades Espana! (pictures will be posted soon...some computer issues, meaning mine won't turn on!)

oh the packing

Clothes are strewn about-should I bring two pairs of jeans and khakis or just jeans? Oh and what about some comfy sweatpants? Do I have room for all this...maybe I'll just buy some stuff there and not pack too much? Passport is stashed away (visa intact mind you...Yay!) where I will not forget it- plain and visible. Now where was that spot again? Who do I need to see before I leave? Can I squeeze another shift in at the restaurant for a little more cash mula? Now, what was it that I had to mail before I leave?

"Yes Daddy I know it isn't the safest"..."yes my passport is copied and I will not travel alone"..."um, no I didn't know that I might get robbed by an pseudo-cop impersonator, but now I am well aware." I love my parents. But they are worried (as they should be) but excited for me too. I just wish I could say, "It's ok, everything will be fine! I'll be safe." But I do know that, I will be smart and that I have many people praying for me. So hey Daddy, don't worry-be happy.

Maybe my mind is racing. I obviously have allowed this day to sneak up on me. I know-- just take a deep breath and everything will fall in place. But, how do I only have five days left before I leave?! If you didn't see I just added an area where you can help me out during my two months of volunteer if you would like. Just click the donate button on the right and help me out, anything is appreciated! Can't wait for the next time I write to include the words..."now safely in La Paz 12000 feet high....